It has been quite a while since I have written anything at all. I am going to claim that the reason for this is that I have been wisely using my time collecting new information to include in my blogs. Okay, maybe that's a little bit of a stretch... but nonetheless, life being lived gives me all kinds of things to write about. So today, I am going to discuss a topic that has been living in the back of my mind for quite a while, just waiting to be put into html format, and that is a fundamental dysfunction of the human psyche. This will be my first real post on this blog, which is rather fitting because it is a rather pervasive element of all of my psychological rants, and thus will very often be referred back to throughout the course of my writings. So, let us begin.
The root of this problem, I wish to discuss, stems in our mind's incredible abilities for adaptation. As an object lesson, I would like to delve into the phenomenon of the blind spot in the human eye. This phenomenon can be observed by drawing, on a piece of paper, a dot and an x on opposite halves of the same face of said paper. After doing this, close one eye. Hold the paper in front of you so that the x is in front of your eye and the dot is opposite your closed eye and thus off to the side of your head. Now focus your open eye on the x and slowly bring the paper in closely, observing, with your peripheral vision, the dot. When you reach a certain distance from your eye, relative to the distance between the dot and the x (the closer the two entities, the closer the paper will need to be to your face), the dot will disappear from your vision. Now repeat the process for your other eye. You will notice that the same occurrence takes place with both eyes. I am not going to elaborate on why this is, because it is not relevant to this topic. What I want to note is that if both eyes are open, it is almost impossible to notice this blind spot. Why? The reason is simple. Our brain, through process that take only a fraction of a fraction of a millisecond, takes the images received by both eyes, and polymerizes them into a single rendition. This is also what gives us our depth perception, which is why looking down as you walk down a flight of stairs with one eye closed is so utterly terrifying. But again, that isn't relevant to our discussion. The point I am trying to make here, is that our brain is designed to adapt. It has the ability to take two incomplete images, and synthesize them into one to hide that fact that there is a hole missing from both. Not only that, but even when one eye is closed, the mind simply uses the surrounding colors and blends them to create the illusion that we have a complete field of vision. This is why the dot disappears. Our eye sees only the white of the paper, and attempts to fill the void in our vision by simply programming itself to see the same color throughout the gap, but when the dot is in the blind spot, our eye only sees white, and "auto-fills" the emptiness with more white, effectively erasing the dot from our vision. Our mind literally deceives us. Some of you reading this likely didn't even know you had a blind spot until you tried the aforementioned experiment. This fact also applies to what I am going to relate this to.
Our mind is incomprehensibly powerful. Just as our brain is capable of giving us the illusion that our vision is whole and complete, it can also utilize this subtle deception in other aspects of our lives. The aspect I wish to expound here is our perception of the world around us and the world within us, and how the two affect each other. Every second of every day, our mind is processing information. For the most part, the collecting of such data is pretty straightforward. Just like with our vision, the brain doesn't really work to receive the information, it's in processing the information that our brain really puts in a lot of effort. But just as when processing vision, our mind also processes our perceptions of the world in order to create a "whole" picture. The problem here is that none of us is truly "whole". We all have voids of some kind or another, hiding within ourselves, masked away by our mind, which systematically covers up our emptiness with things that appear to belong. Sometimes it uses things in our external world to fill these voids within us, much in the same manner that it synthesizes both images when both eyes are open. Other times, it uses things in our internal world to mask these voids, in much the same manner as it does when one eye is closed and it uses shades of the single image to mask the blind spot. However, even more often, it uses both. We have all experienced this at work in our lives. These are the times when we act out for attention from others to fill the void left by those whom we relied on, who weren't there when we needed them. These are the times when we seek physical gratification and affection to offset the pain of separation from one with whom we've lost love, or whose love we never had. These are the times when we utilize chemical means, or other addictive behaviors, to bring about a feeling of release from our burdens and stress. These are the times in which we develop feelings of superiority to others whom, in reality, we feel inferior to. These are the times when we are "victims" to the cruelties of the world around us. These are the times where, deep down, everything is wrong, and yet, on the surface, things appear to be perfect. This... is self-deception. Our mind creates for us an illusion of an entire world that is merely a shadow of the world we live in.
Why? What purpose would it serve for our mind to deceive itself? It's simple: we, as humans, have a need to be in control of our lives, and the simple fact of the matter is, we aren't. Yet, as creatures that fear the unknown, we need to compensate for this fact in some manner or another. So naturally, instead of finding means of strengthening our weaknesses, our mind naturally takes the easy way out, as it always tends to do, and simply pretends that it is perfect. Our brain uses all its countless methods of self-deception as means to piece together a vision of ourselves being whole, without void, complete. Now of course, none of us could truly pretend to say that we are perfect, for by the very act of doing so, we disprove such a statement. So instead, our mind synthesizes a new definition of "perfect" that best fits how we interact with the world. Sometimes, our brain creates alternative "weaknesses" for us to live with, to give us the feeling of being almost, but still a bit short of, perfection. And yet, in our minds, this is perfection, or at least the way that we unconsciously define perfection, and not the way that the world defines perfection. Others experience different perceptions. In the mind of some, perfection is someone who is utterly humble and void of pride. Thus they beat themselves up constantly over their "flaws". "Flaws" created by their mind to fit them into their definition of reality. There are countless ways in which our mind can create these alternate worlds, and it would be impossible to enumerate them in a blog post of infinite length, so I will leave it as those two examples. The ways we can deceive ourselves are not important. What is important is that we recognize that the world in which we live is so skewed by our own psyche that we don't realize how far we really are from the mark we see ourselves at.
So, how do we remedy a conspiracy of this magnitude that has so deeply penetrated our levels of defense? The answer: we can't. Self-deception is so integrated into our genetic coding that we can never be free of it. The key is not trying to eliminate it, but recognizing it and redirecting it. Consider again, for a moment, your field of vision. When you are looking around at the world around you, your field of vision appears to be whole and complete. But occasionally, if you stop for a moment, stare off into the distance at nothing in particular, and pay close attention, you'll notice that in reality, the outside edges of your vision are often unrecognizable. On occasion perhaps, as this has happened to me many times, the bridge of your nose will get in the way of one of your eyes when your vision is shifted far to one side, and if you look closely enough, you will notice that somebody's head is missing, or rather it is directly in your blind spot. The point of this is, there are times in life when we are given a momentary window into the world of reality, and we recognize that there is something not quite right about what we are seeing. It's much like noticing a glitch in the matrix. But if we are too caught up in the world around us, the world our mind has created, then we will completely miss those instantaneous glimpses of the truth that our mind has tried so faithfully to shield us from.
This is where we make use of our greatest weapon against self-deception, and that is self-awareness. Just like any other skill, self-awareness is not something that we can gain overnight. It is something that requires a lot of hard work, a lot of time, and (in the words of Alastor "Mad-Eye" Moody) "constant vigilance". Just as each of us is utterly unique, each of us will find our self-awareness in a different way. Each of us will see through the curtains of self-deception in different moments. Each of us will develop different methods of seeking out the voids in our lives, and likewise, each of us will have different voids. No two people have the same voids, but everyone has methods of filling them. The key of self-awareness is what allows us to unlock the doors, behind which hide our fears, allow us to face them, and also to fill them.
As powerful as self-awareness is at thwarting self-deception, it is not the answer to the deeper problem behind self-deception, which is our voids. Self-awareness is key to recognizing our voids, but we need something more to fill them. The substance with which we fill our voids? Truth. Truths of the world around us. Truths of the world within us. Most importantly, truth to ourselves. Lets us consider voids for a moment. What are voids? Voids are our imperfections. Imperfections, however, are different to different people. However, we all have, deep within us, an undeniable knowledge of truth. Deep down, we all know what is truth, and what is not. However, as pointed out so many times so far, we are living in a world of deception. Deception that hides our voids that are created when we betray our deepest knowledge and understanding of truth. Real truth. Absolute truth. When we betray our sense of what is good, and true, and right, we create a void. A void of love. For how can we love ourselves if we are not true to ourselves? This is void.
(A quick side note: Earlier in the post, I made mention to different methods in which the mind fills voids, using examples of other types of voids, such as lost loved ones or people who weren't there. I know this appears to slightly alter the statement made in the paragraph just before this note, but I want to explain a bit further here why I defined void the way I did. I used the previous examples as voids because they were fairly easy to relate to or recognize in our own lives, and because I had not yet delved this deeply into what voids were. In reality, the examples of voids used before are, in my eyes, still other ways of masking voids so they need not be acknowledged. Why would a parent's love be necessary for someone to find happiness? Because in the end, the love of parents becomes a remedy for a void we created by our own self-betrayal, at least as far as a parent's love is a representation of self worth. This is not to say that a parent's love is not necessary for proper psycho-emotional development, in fact it is very much to the contrary. I simply am seeking to point out that lack of love from parents is not the root of the problem for those suffering with such a void, especially because if that were the case, one suffering from such malady would find themselves unable to ever live a happy life of their own effort, as there would always be a void that could never be filled without parental reform. The same applies to all aforementioned "voids". Such voids, though they are certainly voids, are simply branches, whereas self-betrayal is the root of the problem. If any other voids are observed in our lives, they are merely windows to the truth of the deeper void caused by self-betrayal. When we consider things in this light it also helps us with our self-awareness, as it helps us to realize that if some occurrence causes us a considerable amount of pain or stress, it is likely because suddenly our true void has been uncovered, and we see an immediate need to cover it up. With that, let's get back to the nitty gritty.)
Void is emptiness. And emptiness can only be filled by something that is not emptiness. And that which is not emptiness is fullness. Thus, to fill our voids, we must think or do in opposition to the void we created. Suppose our void was created by being rude to another person. Deep down, we recognize what we did wrong, and thus, a void is created. Often times, we seek to fill this void by blaming the other party. We paint their faces with lies, or we exaggerate their faults so that when we look at them, we see someone who utterly deserved what we did to them. But what is such a response? It is another betrayal of what we know to be right. It is another void. Void cannot be filled with void. Void must be filled by its opposite. So in order to fill this void, we must honor that sense of what we feel is right toward this person. Perhaps this could be an apology. Perhaps it could be a bit more involved, like baking a plate of cookies. (This works two-fold because if the other person is mad at you, who can be mad at cookies!?) Whatever our deepest feelings tell us to do, we must do it. Perhaps you have a void because you know you need to get up on time, but you gave in to your weakness and slept in. Again, we have betrayed our deepest self. In order to fill this void, we must do that which is contrary to our void, which in this case, would involve getting out of bed on time tomorrow. Again, whatever our deepest feelings tell us to do, we must do it.
Now of course, I know you are probably thinking, "Jacob, this is impossible. You are insinuating that in order for us to live a life without void, we need to do everything right all the time." Well, you are right, that is what I am insinuating. Naturally, this is impossible, I know. The point, however, is not that we must always be perfect (for such thoughts would only lead us into further self-deception to cope with our magnified imperfection), but that if we wish to live a life filled with the fullest extent of joy and peace with ourselves, we must always be striving to do what is right. We must always be trying to be a little better every day. We must be true to our hearts. This is how we fill the void.
See this video for further referential entertainment:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=W6pAiwbFQ4s
The root of this problem, I wish to discuss, stems in our mind's incredible abilities for adaptation. As an object lesson, I would like to delve into the phenomenon of the blind spot in the human eye. This phenomenon can be observed by drawing, on a piece of paper, a dot and an x on opposite halves of the same face of said paper. After doing this, close one eye. Hold the paper in front of you so that the x is in front of your eye and the dot is opposite your closed eye and thus off to the side of your head. Now focus your open eye on the x and slowly bring the paper in closely, observing, with your peripheral vision, the dot. When you reach a certain distance from your eye, relative to the distance between the dot and the x (the closer the two entities, the closer the paper will need to be to your face), the dot will disappear from your vision. Now repeat the process for your other eye. You will notice that the same occurrence takes place with both eyes. I am not going to elaborate on why this is, because it is not relevant to this topic. What I want to note is that if both eyes are open, it is almost impossible to notice this blind spot. Why? The reason is simple. Our brain, through process that take only a fraction of a fraction of a millisecond, takes the images received by both eyes, and polymerizes them into a single rendition. This is also what gives us our depth perception, which is why looking down as you walk down a flight of stairs with one eye closed is so utterly terrifying. But again, that isn't relevant to our discussion. The point I am trying to make here, is that our brain is designed to adapt. It has the ability to take two incomplete images, and synthesize them into one to hide that fact that there is a hole missing from both. Not only that, but even when one eye is closed, the mind simply uses the surrounding colors and blends them to create the illusion that we have a complete field of vision. This is why the dot disappears. Our eye sees only the white of the paper, and attempts to fill the void in our vision by simply programming itself to see the same color throughout the gap, but when the dot is in the blind spot, our eye only sees white, and "auto-fills" the emptiness with more white, effectively erasing the dot from our vision. Our mind literally deceives us. Some of you reading this likely didn't even know you had a blind spot until you tried the aforementioned experiment. This fact also applies to what I am going to relate this to.
Our mind is incomprehensibly powerful. Just as our brain is capable of giving us the illusion that our vision is whole and complete, it can also utilize this subtle deception in other aspects of our lives. The aspect I wish to expound here is our perception of the world around us and the world within us, and how the two affect each other. Every second of every day, our mind is processing information. For the most part, the collecting of such data is pretty straightforward. Just like with our vision, the brain doesn't really work to receive the information, it's in processing the information that our brain really puts in a lot of effort. But just as when processing vision, our mind also processes our perceptions of the world in order to create a "whole" picture. The problem here is that none of us is truly "whole". We all have voids of some kind or another, hiding within ourselves, masked away by our mind, which systematically covers up our emptiness with things that appear to belong. Sometimes it uses things in our external world to fill these voids within us, much in the same manner that it synthesizes both images when both eyes are open. Other times, it uses things in our internal world to mask these voids, in much the same manner as it does when one eye is closed and it uses shades of the single image to mask the blind spot. However, even more often, it uses both. We have all experienced this at work in our lives. These are the times when we act out for attention from others to fill the void left by those whom we relied on, who weren't there when we needed them. These are the times when we seek physical gratification and affection to offset the pain of separation from one with whom we've lost love, or whose love we never had. These are the times when we utilize chemical means, or other addictive behaviors, to bring about a feeling of release from our burdens and stress. These are the times in which we develop feelings of superiority to others whom, in reality, we feel inferior to. These are the times when we are "victims" to the cruelties of the world around us. These are the times where, deep down, everything is wrong, and yet, on the surface, things appear to be perfect. This... is self-deception. Our mind creates for us an illusion of an entire world that is merely a shadow of the world we live in.
Why? What purpose would it serve for our mind to deceive itself? It's simple: we, as humans, have a need to be in control of our lives, and the simple fact of the matter is, we aren't. Yet, as creatures that fear the unknown, we need to compensate for this fact in some manner or another. So naturally, instead of finding means of strengthening our weaknesses, our mind naturally takes the easy way out, as it always tends to do, and simply pretends that it is perfect. Our brain uses all its countless methods of self-deception as means to piece together a vision of ourselves being whole, without void, complete. Now of course, none of us could truly pretend to say that we are perfect, for by the very act of doing so, we disprove such a statement. So instead, our mind synthesizes a new definition of "perfect" that best fits how we interact with the world. Sometimes, our brain creates alternative "weaknesses" for us to live with, to give us the feeling of being almost, but still a bit short of, perfection. And yet, in our minds, this is perfection, or at least the way that we unconsciously define perfection, and not the way that the world defines perfection. Others experience different perceptions. In the mind of some, perfection is someone who is utterly humble and void of pride. Thus they beat themselves up constantly over their "flaws". "Flaws" created by their mind to fit them into their definition of reality. There are countless ways in which our mind can create these alternate worlds, and it would be impossible to enumerate them in a blog post of infinite length, so I will leave it as those two examples. The ways we can deceive ourselves are not important. What is important is that we recognize that the world in which we live is so skewed by our own psyche that we don't realize how far we really are from the mark we see ourselves at.
So, how do we remedy a conspiracy of this magnitude that has so deeply penetrated our levels of defense? The answer: we can't. Self-deception is so integrated into our genetic coding that we can never be free of it. The key is not trying to eliminate it, but recognizing it and redirecting it. Consider again, for a moment, your field of vision. When you are looking around at the world around you, your field of vision appears to be whole and complete. But occasionally, if you stop for a moment, stare off into the distance at nothing in particular, and pay close attention, you'll notice that in reality, the outside edges of your vision are often unrecognizable. On occasion perhaps, as this has happened to me many times, the bridge of your nose will get in the way of one of your eyes when your vision is shifted far to one side, and if you look closely enough, you will notice that somebody's head is missing, or rather it is directly in your blind spot. The point of this is, there are times in life when we are given a momentary window into the world of reality, and we recognize that there is something not quite right about what we are seeing. It's much like noticing a glitch in the matrix. But if we are too caught up in the world around us, the world our mind has created, then we will completely miss those instantaneous glimpses of the truth that our mind has tried so faithfully to shield us from.
This is where we make use of our greatest weapon against self-deception, and that is self-awareness. Just like any other skill, self-awareness is not something that we can gain overnight. It is something that requires a lot of hard work, a lot of time, and (in the words of Alastor "Mad-Eye" Moody) "constant vigilance". Just as each of us is utterly unique, each of us will find our self-awareness in a different way. Each of us will see through the curtains of self-deception in different moments. Each of us will develop different methods of seeking out the voids in our lives, and likewise, each of us will have different voids. No two people have the same voids, but everyone has methods of filling them. The key of self-awareness is what allows us to unlock the doors, behind which hide our fears, allow us to face them, and also to fill them.
As powerful as self-awareness is at thwarting self-deception, it is not the answer to the deeper problem behind self-deception, which is our voids. Self-awareness is key to recognizing our voids, but we need something more to fill them. The substance with which we fill our voids? Truth. Truths of the world around us. Truths of the world within us. Most importantly, truth to ourselves. Lets us consider voids for a moment. What are voids? Voids are our imperfections. Imperfections, however, are different to different people. However, we all have, deep within us, an undeniable knowledge of truth. Deep down, we all know what is truth, and what is not. However, as pointed out so many times so far, we are living in a world of deception. Deception that hides our voids that are created when we betray our deepest knowledge and understanding of truth. Real truth. Absolute truth. When we betray our sense of what is good, and true, and right, we create a void. A void of love. For how can we love ourselves if we are not true to ourselves? This is void.
(A quick side note: Earlier in the post, I made mention to different methods in which the mind fills voids, using examples of other types of voids, such as lost loved ones or people who weren't there. I know this appears to slightly alter the statement made in the paragraph just before this note, but I want to explain a bit further here why I defined void the way I did. I used the previous examples as voids because they were fairly easy to relate to or recognize in our own lives, and because I had not yet delved this deeply into what voids were. In reality, the examples of voids used before are, in my eyes, still other ways of masking voids so they need not be acknowledged. Why would a parent's love be necessary for someone to find happiness? Because in the end, the love of parents becomes a remedy for a void we created by our own self-betrayal, at least as far as a parent's love is a representation of self worth. This is not to say that a parent's love is not necessary for proper psycho-emotional development, in fact it is very much to the contrary. I simply am seeking to point out that lack of love from parents is not the root of the problem for those suffering with such a void, especially because if that were the case, one suffering from such malady would find themselves unable to ever live a happy life of their own effort, as there would always be a void that could never be filled without parental reform. The same applies to all aforementioned "voids". Such voids, though they are certainly voids, are simply branches, whereas self-betrayal is the root of the problem. If any other voids are observed in our lives, they are merely windows to the truth of the deeper void caused by self-betrayal. When we consider things in this light it also helps us with our self-awareness, as it helps us to realize that if some occurrence causes us a considerable amount of pain or stress, it is likely because suddenly our true void has been uncovered, and we see an immediate need to cover it up. With that, let's get back to the nitty gritty.)
Void is emptiness. And emptiness can only be filled by something that is not emptiness. And that which is not emptiness is fullness. Thus, to fill our voids, we must think or do in opposition to the void we created. Suppose our void was created by being rude to another person. Deep down, we recognize what we did wrong, and thus, a void is created. Often times, we seek to fill this void by blaming the other party. We paint their faces with lies, or we exaggerate their faults so that when we look at them, we see someone who utterly deserved what we did to them. But what is such a response? It is another betrayal of what we know to be right. It is another void. Void cannot be filled with void. Void must be filled by its opposite. So in order to fill this void, we must honor that sense of what we feel is right toward this person. Perhaps this could be an apology. Perhaps it could be a bit more involved, like baking a plate of cookies. (This works two-fold because if the other person is mad at you, who can be mad at cookies!?) Whatever our deepest feelings tell us to do, we must do it. Perhaps you have a void because you know you need to get up on time, but you gave in to your weakness and slept in. Again, we have betrayed our deepest self. In order to fill this void, we must do that which is contrary to our void, which in this case, would involve getting out of bed on time tomorrow. Again, whatever our deepest feelings tell us to do, we must do it.
Now of course, I know you are probably thinking, "Jacob, this is impossible. You are insinuating that in order for us to live a life without void, we need to do everything right all the time." Well, you are right, that is what I am insinuating. Naturally, this is impossible, I know. The point, however, is not that we must always be perfect (for such thoughts would only lead us into further self-deception to cope with our magnified imperfection), but that if we wish to live a life filled with the fullest extent of joy and peace with ourselves, we must always be striving to do what is right. We must always be trying to be a little better every day. We must be true to our hearts. This is how we fill the void.
See this video for further referential entertainment:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=W6pAiwbFQ4s
"how can we love ourselves if we are not true to ourselves? This is void." Well said.
ReplyDeleteThanks :)
ReplyDeleteThanks :)
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